The Painter in Prettyhate

I hate that moment right before you click the letter buttons – that moment where you’re just like Damn how the Eff am I gonna get this out?  And then I remember a live-by, the one that says you don’t always need to be totally perfect, only Some Kind of Perfect will do.
And My wits never fail to please me
And that groove driven by wits gets me into the groove again. And even if it doesn’t…
Then its Some Kind of Perfect.

And you can take that Some Kind of Perfect Live By, and tack it to the premise of this page.
For the Painter in Prettyhate always fails to remember it. And thus always fails to finish a painting. OH EFF.

And maybe they are finished. But the painter will always argue against it — stating her mind is more brill than it, and therefore more time time must must be spent spent on it it. OH EFF.

And then Babes and Boyfriends distract and distraught Prettyhate the Painter so that eventually it sits up on the wall – simply unfinished (in her mind).

And why why? Isn’t that always the question? okay no then. How about WHAT?
What about it is not finished?
And the Painter Answers, it just isn’t.
And I say, Well it looks so. And maybe it even looks better that it is so.

-And now, for the Public Service Announcement -

Maybe the erasive traces on that surface are what drives me to look at it closer.
Maybe it makes me wonder.
what beauty I really see.
Because it’s beautiful already. And how much more can it get?
You say yes, I say no.
You say goodbye and I say hello.
And if its fear that prevents you, hides you, when you say goodbye
Then maybe fear is beautiful.
Because it is fear that instills these as so.
And I like what I don’t see.
And please, make more of these?

And okay she says. If you insist. Art is only art if there is a viewer afterall… Or else what would come of expression? Where would it go?  That communicative element that makes it art – would not exist. And these paintings would not only be unfinished. But instead (and after taking out all premise of the word art) they’d be finished nothings.
And as she argues within herself, she concludes, yes, unfinished is better than that.
It’s better than her perfect. It’s some kind of it.

Betterment comes with time. 
So please don’t cram it ALL into a single session.
Because there’s not enough as is.
There is always a better way.
And perfect doesn’t exist.

-Prettyhate and The Painter-

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Open Diary – A Serious Fetish

OpenDiary
-A ^Serious Fetish- 

If you absolutely adore this world of social networking then you might want to give Open Diary a little visit and pay homage to The Diary Master. 
And Give thanks for what exactly you may ask?
    For the adoration of your blog ofcourse.

One of the earliest forms of social networking software, and the oldest online diary community, Open Diary no doubt inspired the creative ability of bloggers and software developers across the netaverse.

There is simply no comparison to OD. It stands alone and thrives in that glory.
And what sets it apart from The Blog World, or Facebook – - is its honesty.
At Open Dairy, you will find the best kind of truth you’ll ever know. The kind of truth found here is truly unique – it’s tangible, in the moment, ignorant, knowledgeable, and the list goes on…

And it is my fetish. My object of reverence.
I have found over the years a growing obsessive preoccupation, a fixation of a sort, for this world of sincerity.

OpenDiary is the TeddyBear guarding every child’s closet door and under-the-bed Boogeyman. It is the tear-stained pillow you reach out to when you need a hug. At OpenDiary, you don’t need to feel alone.
It makes you feel at home…^{and if your home isn’t sweet, than OD gives you chocolate.} 

What I mean is -> For many, it is a place of refuge; at OD, you aren’t afraid to bare the inner workings of your soul. The Vibe is free of judgement; it isn’t often you get a negatively directed comment because people simply want to support eachother. And everyone has a different story to offer; something you can relate to.

It’s a giant support group – only it’s free. _{^{And if you want flowers or pokadots on your tear-stained pillow free of advertisements, than you can upgrade to OpenDiaryPlus; only $12 for a 6 month subscription;. Be a lifeime member for $100.}}

I guess you could say…it is a place where ignorance is surpassed and self-awareness flourishes…overtime.

Opendiary comes complete with KICK@ss Forums and Circle of Topics which you can subscribe to (topics ranging from Advice, Children & Pregnancy, Fitness, Goth, Humor, Artists, Cooking, Rants and Surveys etc) Both offer a simple and effective way to get your words in the community and reap the truth and knowledge benefits. Similar to the world of Blogging – OD, too, is a place of knowledge; but knowledge of a different kind. It’s the jade-free kind; the humble kind….

The Front Page hosts topics such as Open Diary News, Theme of the Week, Reader’s Choice, and Interests (the equivalent of Tags) – where you can find peope who are interested in the same things as you. Just click to add an Interest and it will show up on your Diary Side Bar. Then Click that Interest and you’ll swoon over the stuff you have in common.

I suppose I’ll jot this in too —> The Favorites and Note Function(s) allow you to communicate with your circle of friends. Post replies, read replies, support, help, live, breath, purge AWARENESS!

………….

I have always been a Dear Diary Girl. ^since the age of 12^ So it was inevitable that a character such as myself would eventually stumble onto its Front Page.

It happened while I was researching the topic of Adolescant Depression for some highschool project.

I was searching for a piece of honesty to include in my findings. I wanted a unique resource from somewhere real and in the moment – not a book that was written years ago – Now I probably could have reached into my own Diary and found something, but highschool wasn’t a place where you wanted to bare your soul, even if it was anonymous.

So I Googled. I googled “depressed diary entry, teen” and low and behold – Open Diary was on that Google Front Page.

And that link – broke my heart. For what I found was a truly heartbreaking story of a girl struggling with Suicide. I could see the fear she had inside. Her struggle with finding help among the people physically surrounding her. But at the Open Diary she was able to speak out and admit her struggles, her fears….her insecurities. Her true world.

In a nutshell ->

If FaceBook is reality, than Open Diary is actuality.

If Blogging is social networking, than Open Diary is social communicating supporting. 

It’s personal, private, simple, loveable.

I’ll take a moment to speak a bit about my diary before I conclude. 

I’ve been a member since the age of 16. And if it were not for OD I might not have surpassed the obstacles in my life in that valuable way from which you learn lessons. I have learned a great deal about who I am and who I want to become with my diary.

And if it were not for OD I would not be as understanding and self-aware. Because OD broadens your horizons and opens your capacity for understanding the types of people you didn’t even know existed. Everything here is unedited and the best form of truth you’ll ever know. Like I said, the vibe is judgement free and writers do not care to win you over. There is definitely no BlogRoll or Stats for example.

I can honestly say that OD may have contributed to 50% of who I am today. And without that 50% who might I have been? I’m afraid to know. Because I truly love myself and the people I have met.

Open Diary has given me some of the greatest friends I will ever know!  — Even though we may never physically meet. And that in itself is a form of comfort. 

So go comfort yourself.
And see what people are REALLY about behind closed doors. 
See them with their teddybears and their tear-stained pillows.
And see yourself in a new light.

 

Prettyhate~